Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Love AND Respect on Valentine's Day

Is there anybody out there with “purchase Valentine’s Day card for my husband” on her to-do list?

If so, I want to encourage you to scratch that item off your list! Instead of a card that affirms your love for your husband, consider writing him a short Respect Note.

The Bible reveals that a wife's respect for her husband is as powerful as her husband's love is to her. As Ephesians 5:33 states: "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (NIV).

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, President of Love and Respect Ministries, tells wives that through RESPECT TALK we can......

* Re-kindle moments of closeness in the midst of stress

* Open your husband's closed spirit when he feels everybody respects him but you

* Counter the misperception you are trying to be his mother

* Give him hope that you view him equal to you, not worse than you.

* Re-energize his deflated ego in the midst of outside factors that are discouraging him.

Intrigued? If so, here are some suggestions for how to proceed. First, keep your note short. Second, think of three things that you respect about your husband. Keep in mind that husbands are energized when their wives show appreciation for their desire to protect and to provide, to serve and to lead, and to analyze and counsel. So, focus on those areas in your note.

Third, write the note and give it to your husband!

Does a respect note sound like a crazy idea to you? Have you ever told your husband how much you respected him? If so, what was his response?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCE: Love and Respect, by Emerson Eggerichs (Integrity Publishers, 2004)



  1. This is awesome, Marilyn. I am definitely going to write a respect note!


  2. Wonderful reminder. I wrote my hubby a "respect note" but did it on a thank you card since I didn't have a "respect" one handy. It's natural for me to think he needs love and I have to train myself to think in his shoes. Thanks for the gentle nudge.

  3. Karen and Sharina,

    Good for you!

    I wrote my first respect note to my husband about five years ago. It was very meaningful to him. He didn’t respond with an overflow of emotion, but did make a point of saving the note aside.

    In contrast, so many of the cards I’ve given him over the years ended up floating around in a stack of papers in the kitchen until I either tossed them or saved them in a family memories file. His response was an important signal to me of just how important my respect is.

  4. Note to self- Must write respect card.

    Hubby and I long ago agreed not to do Hallmark holidays so a hand written note would be a blessing indeed.

  5. That's a great idea for any time of the year! Love it and I'll have to try it soon! What a great reminder! Thank you! :))