No Accident

My 19 year old daughter was recently in a car accident. She is ok. The little girl she had in the car was ok. The car was not ok. It is totaled.
Yet I am so thankful.

In years past, thankfulness would not have been my response. My typical mode of response was nothing less than FREAK OUT. And then after a while, continue to freak out and heap on the blame and assign plenty of guilt. But, praise God, that was not the response this time.

My response this time made me realize something had changed in me. I understood that I am not in control. I became convinced that my God is trustworthy and that He really, really loves me.

Believe it or not, I haven't always believed these things about God. Sure, I said I believed them. I even lead Bible studies on believing and trusting God. But my actions and reactions showed what I really believed--that I didn't trust God (I trusted me), and I didn't think HE was paying attention. I thought I needed to make my plans succeed and, therefore, I needed to manipulate and control life.

Yet over the last few years, I have gotten personal with HIM. I have found that even when there was pain and suffering, He was there with me. When life didn’t go my way, He showed a better way. When my expectations in others were disappointed, He remained faithful. Even when others rejected me, He always accepted me.

So today, I rest in the fact that God is GOOD. I choose to trust HIM because He has proven Himself trustworthy. God has shown me that He is in control - even in the midst of the painful, scary, out of control events in my life. God has done an amazing work in me. And in the face of my daughter's car accident, I have come to understand that His work in my life has been purposeful. That the change I see in me was no accident!

And bottom line - I know in the depths of my heart His incredible love for me.

Do you?

~Wendy